[He doesn't seem all that impressed. He takes the book from under his arm and starts flipping through pages -- pages that are completely blank. Yet his eyes scan over them as if there were in fact something there to read.]

Then you already know we're being held captive by the Witch of Opportunity at latitude-longitude roughly 32° 20'N, 64° 45'W, in the center of the Bermuda Triangle, and that we're nowhere near the proper climate for all of this snow.