Embarrassing Photos of You

[404_knight]

[Robo-Ky sits behind a small wooden stand, reminiscent of a child's first lemonade stand. Rather than a crudely drawn sign, however, the lettering is laser-etched into a glass pane on top off the stand. It reads "Embarrassing Photos of You!" and displayed are numerous photos of attendees of the garden party from the previous event doing things they would probably choose not to remember.

Most of the photos are wallet sized, but a few have been blow up into very nice 8x10 glossy prints.]

Comments

[cygnusscientist]

[Standing there with her hands on her hips, looking the photos over.]

...I need to stop drinking so much at social events.

[404_knight]

Everybody says that, they never do.

$5 for a print, $10 for an 8x10 and everything in your wallet for the negatives.

[cygnusscientist]

No one even knows me here. What's the point of exploiting me? Doggie has a worse photo than this framed on the coffee table at home.

And are you seriously saying you don't take photos digitally? What year is this?

[404_knight]

I do digital and film simultaneously.

That way I can accept bribes from people and keep the originals.

[cygnusscientist]

That's incredibly illegal.

You do know I'm a cop, right?

[404_knight]

Technically, if it's photography in a public place, I'm fully within my rights to take them.

Just as I am fully within my rights to start an e-mail chain letter to send to every grandmother on the planet.

[cygnusscientist]

Not if it's with the intent for exploitation.

Also my grandmother doesn't live on Earth. ...Well, not the one that's still alive.

[404_knight]

It's not exploitation, it's commerce. Like a photo at an amusement park on a roller coaster.

Happened all the time in California before the mole men.

[cygnusscientist]

People are aware of those photos being taken.

Give me one of the small ones though. Doggie will probably find it amusing, so I might as well bring one home. Whenever it is I'll get to go home.

[404_knight]

[Robo-Ky prints out a fresh photo for her from his mouth and hands it over.]

[cygnusscientist]

[Not weirded out but that at all. She just takes it and pays.]

[404_knight]

Thank you very much!

[His mouth isn't big enough for the 8x10...]

[cygnusscientist]

[And she ain't gonna ask where those print from.]

I'm going ot be keeping an eye on you, so don't make trouble.

[404_knight]

I promise nothing, I only make contracts in radioactive ink or orphan's blood.

[cygnusscientist]

Those aren't things you should say to a police officer.

[404_knight]

I once ate a raccoon.

[cygnusscientist]

......That's.... nice?

[404_knight]

It did not go down smoothly.

[cygnusscientist]

...I'd assume not.

[404_knight]

It was kicking and clawing and stuff. Very angry. Very filling at first, but I was hungry an hour later.

[cygnusscientist]

You get hungry?

[404_knight]

It's more of an emotional state than a physical one.

Also you're supposed to give me a lead-in so I can reply with "because it escaped after an hour."

[cygnusscientist]

Sorry, I'm not very good at schtick.

[404_knight]

It's okay, everyone was an amateur at some point.

I remember the first joke I ever told.

[cygnusscientist]

[She knows enough to lead in...]

...And that was?

[404_knight]

"Don't worry, you'll live."

[cygnusscientist]

I'm sure that went over swimmingly.

Did you forget I'm a cop again?

[404_knight]

Nope.

[cygnusscientist]

I haven't head nearly enough coffee for this...

[404_knight]

[Robo-Ky pulls a mug out of his chest, the cap of one finger opens up and he dispenses coffee.]

[cygnusscientist]

[Just taking that mug of coffee thank you very much.]

Thank you.

Nasty habit, but I need the stuff to function.

[404_knight]

[It is not the best coffee, but it's also not oil or robot excretion.]

I understand completely.

[cygnusscientist]

[If she knew him better, she would be flattered.]

It's the only way to get by on how little sleep I get.

[404_knight]

I don't exactly sleep, but I still get it.

[cygnusscientist]

I don't either.

But it's actually kind of a physical requirement for me.

[emptyguardian]

...You are the world's most immature robot...

[404_knight]

'says you.

[emptyguardian]

Exactly.

[404_knight]

I'm metal, you're glue and unfortunately that makes me a near-ideal adhesion surface.

[emptyguardian]

... Yeah. Yeah it does.