[1ST DANCE] - Displaced

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

[Shirayuki has been spending a lot of time outside now that the snow has fallen. The wildlife doesn't seem pleased about it and all the birds she's come into contact with have done nothing but squawk irritably over it. It makes sense, she supposes, if it's not supposed to be this cold here. But she is very much enjoying it. It reminds her of home...

But even so, her situation is rather peculiar, and still she's not fully sure what to make of it. There are, at minimum, at least three other shinigami here, and their zanpakuto have not been separated from them. None at all. Only her. Why her? What made her special?

Maybe it was because it was possible with her. She had been unglued from Rukia before. Maybe it was simply just not possible with the others. Those bonds had never been severed as hers and Rukia's had. Maybe that's all the reason there was...

Shirayuki couldn't be sure. She was still bothered by it none the less, and she was dealing with that on top of various sources of guilt and the compulsive need to protect her master, even when they were separated like this.

She rest her face in one hand. She was getting a headache.]

...Perhaps a vacation from all of that fighting and worrying will do me some good.

Comments

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

Oh no, it's fine. I am not particularly used to being alone, so I do not mind some company.

There is someone you are trying to find?

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

Oh, okay then.

My brother...I don't know if he was taken here too, but I haven't seen him so...I'm not sure he's here.

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

Peculiar... You are the second person I've met searching for their brother here.

[She thinks a moment, back to the photo that Domon showed her.]

...But you are not the brother he was looking for.

Again, so strange. Rukia-sama's brother is here, but not the people who seem to seek out their brothers. It truly makes me wonder.

[Though really she's not fully sure if she wants Byakuya around Rukia. Sure they'd started getting along better after her arrest and execution were pardoned, the fact that he let it get that far still bothers her.]

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

Oh...[since she said they weren't looking for him, he knew it couldn't be Russell.]

I hope he isn't...[no, he couldn't think that way. He just had to stay positive.]

Miss Rukia has a brother too?

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

...I am sure your brother is fine. He may even be here. I do not know. I have not met too many people, but I know there are many around.

Adoptive brother. They're siblings through marriage, technically, but she didn't know about that until very recently. He is... difficult.... to put it mildly. Thankfully, Senbonzakura is more tolerable.

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

Does she tell you all about her family?

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

Yes. Family is rather fascinating to me. Senbonzakura and I have talked about it. It makes me wonder if he and I could be considered family.

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

I think it could be possible if you're very close to someone. You could look at them as your family, even if you aren't related by blood.

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

Can you? Hm... That is very interesting. Then I suppose maybe I have quite a bit of family...

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

Well, that's um, just my opinion. I don't know if everyone will agree though...

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

It's an interesting theory... It reminds me a bit of something Shiba-dono told Rukia-sama once.

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

What's that?

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

It wasn't so much about family as just bonds between people... I don't remember the precise wording. It was so long ago... but something about a heart being something formed between two people. On one's own, there isn't a heart.

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

[He looks in surprise, he had never heard such a thing before.]

No heart...? How can that be? Everyone needs a heart to live. I know people can form a bond, but a heart? [Maybe there was a deeper meaning to it. Surely it couldn't be literally speaking, could it?]

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

I think in this context, a bond and a heart are the same. A heart is required to live... And a person cannot live in isolation.

Take my kind for example. If we are alone, we cannot function. A zanpakuto with no master has no purpose. It can be alive, but there is no life to it. It has no home, nothing to protect. No one to care for.

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

Oh, that sounds like it would be very depressing, almost like being lost. Thank goodness you have miss Rukia, I hope you will never have to go through something like that.

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

I have been displaced from her, and forced into a semi-dormant state in the past. Both in quick succession actually. At least in regards to the former, I was able to protect her indirectly...

But now that I have returned to her, and we have begun to fight again, I cannot let myself fail her like that again.

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

...Because you both rely on each other for strength and to survive?

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

In truth, I likely rely on her far more than she does me.

My failings are not so great that I do not deserve her, but the fact that I could have let such hardships befall her is something I berate myself for.

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

From what I was told, I don't think miss Rukia would abandon you for that. Everyone makes mistakes, I'm sure she doesn't expect you to be perfect.

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

No no... She's such a good girl... She doesn't blame me for a thing, even if she could. She'd never place blame on anyone else. Unfortunately, she places too much blame on herself.

But that is why my failings are so truly unforgivable. Because of my failings, she puts blame on herself. She hurts because I could not better protect her.

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

But...you can still protect her. You can practice and get better, that way when the time comes to protect her again, you'll be able to do it.

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

We have come far since my failings... But even with how much stronger we have gotten... I nearly lost her again.

[She exhales, seeming a bit frustrated for a moment.]

And I can bet I owe that Kurosaki boy another round of thanks for saving her again...

[She's really not sure if she likes Ichigo or not.]

[watersprout.insanejournal.com]

It sounds like you don't like that person very much...

[thebravestbird.insanejournal.com]

I am... undecided.... on my opinion of Kurosaki Ichigo.

He has done many things for my master. She has begun to recover because of him.

But he has also caused problems.